Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Aging

SEARCH BLOG: COMMUNITY

Having a mother who is 90-years old and living by herself more than 1,000 miles away is difficult. She still drives a few miles a week and is able to get around fairly well. But aging means losing strength and vigor. Even though her mind is sharp, her body often doesn't follow the orders her brain sends. So, we worry.

It's difficult for the son or daughter to tell a parent it is time to admit their limitations. You are telling them that they have to be dependent on others. Sure, we all have some dependency on others, but the concept of "retirement home" or "assisted living" brings the image of semi-conscious, white-haired people who shuffle along without purpose. The idea of being part of that is enough to cause dread.

My wife and I convinced my mother to visit a facility that had some very good reviews. Then she decided she wouldn't. My wife was not going to take no. My mother visited the facility. Not a minute into the building and she met someone she knew. Then she saw the dining room with its mahogany walls and furniture and white linens. And she saw the spacious, well-lit apartments with spectacular views of the city. Then there was the church at the very top of the building with its beautiful windows and massive pipe organ. And there was the medical clinic, bank, pharmacy, convenience store, beauty salon, fitness center, auditorium... you get the idea.

She spent over an hour walking around the facility and forgot that she didn't have her walker with her. She had to work hard to find anything negative to say... and when it came out she dismissed it as really of no importance.

So, now we arrange for a real estate agent to try to sell her house. That's a challenge these days with the market as it is and her house is small and woefully out of date. But her home's location is fantastic. Old homes are being torn down and large, expensive homes built to replace them. Perhaps she will be fortunate and be able to sell her home for a good price in a short time. After all, good "retirement communities" are expensive. If not, we'll deal with that.

Now my mother-in-law is interested. My wife is a great sales person.

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